Tomorrow on the Little Vampires History Channel, Sanguinisbibbler minimus discovers fire. Prehistoric hilarity ensues.

Pardon my butchering of the Latin language. I was attempting to say “little blood drinker.” Share in the comments how you would say “Little Vampire” in Latin. Or any other language, for that matter. It’s fun to think up fake words that sound like they could be a part of a real language. I think it’s fun, anyway. But that’s ’cause I’m a word nerd.

More from the Little Vampire History Channel: blood oranges weren’t cultivated until the 18th century in the Southern Mediterranean.

Thanks to Brianna Cottrell for “wooly mammoth” and Matt and Shannon for “Paleolithic.” Yes, I really did draw those two from the hat. I almost put one back because I wouldn’t believe me if I said I picked those words together. But I did. I know I did, ’cause I was there.