Little Vampireson January 1, 2011 at 4:45 pm
The Little Vampires try to be as fierce and deadly as human sized vampires, but they fail spectacularly at it.
This doesn’t prevent them from trying. They diligently practice their vampire poses and “blehs.” They work very hard at trying to frighten The Cat. They attempt to to fly at every opportunity. They even try to feed like the big vampires do, but the most they can manage is hunting and attacking unsuspecting blood oranges.
(They think that blood oranges have actual blood in them. Please don’t tell them otherwise. It would make them sad.)
Despite their continued efforts, the Little Vampires are perceived as more friendly than fierce, and more endearing than deadly.
How tall are the Little Vampires?
They never grow taller than 7 inches. Any Little Vampire that reaches 7 inches in height is automatically made the center for the Little Vampire basketball team, The Fangs.
How many Little Vampires are there?
During the last little monster census, the number of Little Vampires was listed as “Many.”
Do the Little Vampires have names?
Not that we know of.
Do the Little Vampires talk?
They don’t talk like we do, but they do vocalize. They make “nom nom nom” sounds while eating blood oranges, and emit a variety of “blehs.”
Are there Little Girl Vampires?
Yes. They can be identified by their hair bows.
Can the Little Vampires hurt me?
If you are blood orange, then yes.
What should I do if I see a Little Vampire?
Pretend to be scared.
What should I do if the Little Vampire doesn’t go away?
Politely point him towards the nearest blood orange.
What should I do if the Little Vampire STILL won’t go away?
Give him a hug and have tea with him. Blood orange tea if you have it.
Do blood oranges have blood in them?
If you are a Little Vampire, the answer is yes. If you are human, the answer is no. They are filled with dark red citrusy goodness.
Is it true that the Little Vampires once attempted to corner the blood orange market?
It is true. They tried to roll as many blood oranges into a corner as they could, but the stack of fruit toppled and rolled over them.
Do the Little Vampires do anything besides practice being fierce and deadly?
All work and no play makes for dull Little Vampires, so they make sure to have lots of fun in their off hours. They especially enjoy spending time with their friends, like Frank and Wolfie.
What do the Little Vampires do when they’re not trying to be like big vampires?
They like to explore the world of the bigger folk, play games and cosplay as their favorite characters. They also enjoy music and dancing.